The search almost ends before starting

So, as I promised, I set out to find pretty ball gowns to inspire my newly engaged friend. Not being a huge fan of ball gowns or princess gowns, I decided that I needed to stray away from Craigslist and go to the mama of all bridal sites-The Knot, as they were sure to have heaps and heaps and heaps of all kinds of gowns and princess type outfits.

Well, The Knot certainly did not disappoint. They have so many gowns to view, that you can pick by designer, price, style, etc (you all know what I'm talking about-you know you've looked before). And so, I clicked "ball gown" and leaped into the world of puffy skirts, petticoats, and Cinderella dreams come true. And I swear, I was set on finding pretty gowns and showing them to you.

98 gowns in, I was horrified!!!! Designer, after designer, after designer, dress, after dress, after dress I would only maybe wish on my worse enemy (if I had one) to wear on her wedding day. What has happened in the wedding design world? I cannot imagine brides actually wears these monstrosities! Maybe it's just like "couture" where they don't actually expect a normal person to wear what the models wear down the runway? Maybe they make something more normal for people who do not plan to get married in their own version of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"?

I got so distressed, that I just have to show you these, and beg you all to please please please be brave and save any friend, cousin, sister, ex-boyfriend's new fiance, some woman you saw at David's Bridal from wearing one of these! I do believe that if we work together, we can save brides from wearing these.

To help us in our quest, I am posting a few examples from The Knot. I am not picking on any one designer, they seem to ALL have gone insane. (all the photos are from The Knot.com, but I assume they got them from the various designers)

St. Pucchi,

Someone explain to me, what is this on the bottom of this skirt? Feathers? Seaweed? Kelp? That stuff that holds soda cans together? And ok, I know we are being artistic and all, but when was the last time we saw a bride play a mandolin at her wedding? Nicholas Cage had a hard enough time with it in "Captain Corelli's Mandolin". Who has time to worry about dragging a mandolin around their wedding?


St. Pucchi is not the only ones, here is Enmanuel Couture

I LOVED feathers in the ballerina's outfits in Swan Lake. So unless you are a prima ballerina marrying your leading man, PLEASE LEAVE THE FEATHERS AT HOME.

What is it with designers trying to make people look like a mix between a wedding cake and "Gone with the Wind" gone wrong?

Justin Alexander

Someone explain to me, how are you supposed to sit in this? Technical drawings of how one would sit in this thing are welcome and will be prominently displayed on my site.

My Lady Design:


Prina Tornai:




Sposa by St. Pucchi:


Destination by Mon Cheri: (this one could not look more like a wedding cake)



Ok, ok, amongst all this I did find a few dresses that were, well, NOT UGLY, and even kind of pretty:

Birnbaum and Bullock:


A "interesting" one by St.Pucchi: